My wife and daughter have been enthralled with the Olympics for the past week and a half, especially the pair’s figure skating.  Me, being an analytical sort, I am always looking deeper into people and ideas and interests for motivations.  I’m not a fan of the sport, but I do respect the skill and athleticism that is necessary to participate in it, let alone excel.  I’m not fond of the male portrayals, but to each his own.

I came to my own revelation of sorts as I got pulled into my wife and daughter’s excitement, watching as the event came down to Russian and Chinese skaters. They gasped as a Russian man held his female partner aloft with one hand as they glided across the Beijing ice.  I’ll call them Vladimir and Evgenia.  More gasps were emitted as Vladimir released her and recaptured Evgenia at his hip as she gracefully posed in a horizontal position, red lipstick smile prominent against the backdrop of her complexion and the ice.

How long had they practiced that move?  It must have been sixteen-hour days in an empty rink for weeks or months.  Being we’re discussing Russians; it was probably months.  How many times did he drop this poor woman on the ice, to be punished by tyrannical communist coaches?   It was amazing, I must admit.  Still not my sport, but I will never question the athletic ability of skaters.  Especially the men.

And that is where my revelation begins.  This required a man and a woman, working together intimately, like we’re supposed to in our lives.

I’m stating the obvious?

This would not work with two women.  Nor with two men.  Twenty years ago that would not need to be stated; today that’s not entirely obvious.  Vladimir was larger than Evgenia, his thighs almost as powerful as Barry Sanders.  Evgenia was petite and slim.  Each was built for their role, reversal is not possible: Evgenia is not going to hold Vladimir above her head, and he is not going to look good in a skirt and lipstick.  I present to you the obvious–A Man, and a Woman.


For my wife & daughter, their excitement was in Vladimir and Evgenia working together, and in the female skater’s beauty, poise, and trust in her partner.  An illustration that the woman must trust the man.  Even after he may have dropped her in training.  I guarantee Evgenia knows how much work is needed to hold her up, and she’s not gibbering about ‘strong women’.  And I also guarantee that if Vladimir were gay and you sent a man out there for him to toss in the air, he would say, “No, go get Evgenia.”

I believe that is the disconnect between men and women today.  Evgenia had to train, and train hard.  Training for her started when she laced up her skates a young girl.  But for Vladimir to do his part, his training began LONG before she laced up skates.  Even if she was only one hundred pounds, when she jumped, Vladimir had to catch her, continue the momentum upward, and hold her aloft with ONE hand and arm, maintaining his balance gliding across the ice.

Lifting one hundred pounds one handed over your head is a herculean task for a man in a gym on rubber mats in sneakers.  This guy did it on skates!  The amount of physical conditioning that the male skaters endure must be relentless and brutal.  And THEN he has to train to skate just like her. 

Not one mention of what an incredible feat it was.  I had to point out that he was tossing the equivalent of a giant sack of potatoes in the air, catching it, and running with it over his head.  As Vladimir and Evgenia finished and took their bows, he was visibly exhausted.  Not one word from wife or daughter of the immense task Vladimir had to perform.

Women see the work men do as a given; we’re supposed to do what we do.  It just happens, and they are entitled to it.  Women have little appreciation of men and what men do to enable their survival and set the table for their excellence.

And that is a paradox that threatens our future—Men and Women NEED one another.  I’ve never met a man who did not value the importance of women.  From what I see of late in media and daily interactions, I do not think that view is mutual.

We must protect the relationship of Man and Woman.  And in that order.  There is a visible campaign by feminists to grab any and all young women and recruit them for the ‘strong woman’ crusade.  This is where the ‘wrote our own vows’ movement began.   

Hopefully they won’t poison Simone Biles, who accepted a marriage proposal from Jonathan Owens of the NFL’s Houston Texans.

I looked at their photos, and they look happy.  I mean really happy.  Where do you see that in our times, these times of desperate housewives and athletes with groupies and baby mommas.  I do not know the young man’s history so I’m going on a limb in saying he seems like a decent guy.  He’s not in the news for trouble or hanging out with rappers.  He dated Simone, then put a ring on it.  Simone is always smiling, doesn’t pop up in the gossip columns, and looks ecstatic.  She appreciates that a man wants to hold her high!  They are the embodiment of the themes portrayed by those figure skaters.

                                                                      I see a Man, and a Woman.


The hood gets to young girls early.  The wolves of ghetto life will watch your daughters and bite them early, infecting their unprepared minds.  The ravenous thugs that rule the ‘hood’ target young beauties and get to them ahead of more decent young men. By the time proper young men are fully groomed, and seek brides, their peer group of female candidates have already been bitten by the wolf pack.  A large number are already single mothers and/or seduced by street culture.

How does this happen?  Gang culture and the proliferation of the illegal drug economy (it is no longer just a trade).  Large amounts of illegal profit advanced younger males ahead of adult males, so that they hold all the monetary power to control the economic environment.  The addition of intimidation by the associated armed gangs confirms to the young girls/ladies that the street thug’s status is solid.  THEY control the immediate world about them–not adults. 

She seeks male attention and is presented with choice between an awkward honest young man who might have money for a movie, and not very smooth, or a young thug who has been indoctrinated ahead of his time into the local gang structure.  He can use a gun to threaten anyone who dares interrupt their fun–even adults.  He can splurge his illegally gained money on her to buy foolishness and weed.  For a young girl this is tantalizing.  Her choice is obvious.

These young men are clearly detrimental to the community, right?

Not for the bitten.  Once the hood wolves bite the hind leg of the young girls, they are like victims of a vampire and forever tainted. At an early age, they are seduced by a counterfeit lifestyle, and they continue seek the ease of that irresponsible life as adults.  They still crave the wolves who infected them for life.  In his world she can be irresponsible—anywhere else she is accountable and behave like a lady.  With him she can ‘pop off’ at the mouth and get her maniac street thug on you if you dare say something back. 

Expensive cars without the accompanying labor, faddish clothing that would not survive in a normal world, and celebrations every night when responsible people are resting for work the next day.  Who would say no to this?

Much like gangsters will brag, she can just point, and her armed and violent male pursuers will, “take care of that problem”.  She goes unchallenged.  Now you have an explanation for the belligerence so common to ‘hood’ women.  The violent streets are her vengeful husband, not any man.  And she will entertain ONLY those kinds of men, her identity and power come from that.  If she experiments with a ‘working man’ or upwardly mobile man, her disappointment will emerge quickly.  His long-term lifestyle is inconsistent with her short-term vision of day-to-day fun and/or survival.  Forever tainted, bitten by wolves.

Let these women go.  Do not attempt to rescue them or rationalize with them.  Later in life, they will complain about the men they chose and will not make the connection to the poison in them from their teenaged interaction with the ‘bad boys’.  They were bitten by the vampire and are forever his. 

If you name the most prominent and beautiful women in urban culture, none are involved with their proper counterpart.  Not one is with a man described as a ‘gentleman’.  Beyonce’ is with Jay-Z, admitted street thug and drug dealer— “I did e’ry bit a crime I writ in mine, ran so much coke, I could shit a dime” (from Funkmaster Flex mixtape vol II). 

Ciara famously married rapper ‘Future’ and became his THIRD(!) baby momma. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats (the producer of DMX and Rough Riders).  Foxy Brown, Nikki Minaj, Vivica Fox, etc. None of them sought black ‘gentlemen’.  They were bitten by the wolves “in them streets”.


This condition holds true ONLY in the Black Community.  No other community allows its youth to dictate its direction.

So why aren’t Black women warning their daughters away from the doo-rag/saggy pants/tattoo on neck/street talkin’ thugs?


Have they been bitten by the wolves?


Have you been bitten?


(I want to thank a female co-worker who I consulted for this topic.  She confessed that reading this was personal, it was like I followed her in her youth.  She is relieved that her own daughter has not been ‘bitten by the wolves’.)